BE FREE

looking back at my old posts.......... all i do i sighing and smiling and thinking about how silly am i to do such post. lmao. but it's okay. we all silly. we all learn day by day. life's a journey. i can see how i jump from another crush to another crush and to another crush. well it's actually not that much of crush. i did mentioned my ex lover when i was in my college (we about to get serious and his mom come to me said i wasnt good enough for his son) and go to mr Y (remember... oyaji?) lol. that guy is purely just a crush. i once believe that what i felt for him is love. teensssss.... /sighs/ did i mentioned about my nepali boyfriend. who i know when i transfer to another branch of sushi king(klcc)?  i believe i did. cos i saw chan mali chan post, yeah it was him. i read again that post. it make me cringe so bad i wanted to throw my laptop. luckily i'm "matured" enough to think about the money i try to collect in the past month. working my as off. ...

Remember when i thought i COULD NOT forget Y? Remember when u feel the heart ache when he shows zero interest? Remember all the silly dreams? lmao. ok STAPH. -___-' Hahahaha... Now, when someone asked me how is Mr Y? I was like... Hmmm who Mr Y? Y who? LOL. Fifi so lame. You thought your feeling could last longer. But NO . Who knows that one month in Sushi King KLCC could change everything. Now, I'm totally a different person. A person who loves sincerely without wanting him to stay here. Errr... i lied. I wanted him to stay here but... yeah things a bit difficult. Love is not difficult, but human are. Put that aside. I am completely happy to be with him. He is mean. mean. mean... mean... and mean... then silly. and sweet. and then bitter. :P but he care about me a lot. he understand me a lot. he knows what i want without me telling him. We both together for about hmm 5 months? yeah sure u guys will say only 5 months ofcourse everything is nice and sweet. But u couldn...

i dont even know what goes in my mind lately. the girls and b1a4 case pretty much gives me the clue about what kind of judgement i'll get once i reveal things i've done. all those sins. all the criticism all the insults i have to accept... but it's ok. never in my life i insult or judge other people for what they do. never do i talk about other people sins, cos i know i've done a lot more than them. i feel so sorry to my family. but... what's done is done. it's ok. i'll get over it by time... time will heal everything. it's ok to be hurt. i never regret my decision. he is the best thing happen in my life. i never regret knowing him. -___-=

i know my previous post is silly. hmmm... let me tell u something. my common sense is leaving me. ever since i knew this guy whom i call chan... a guy i know when i transfer to another outlet of sushi king while the outlet i work in was under renovation. i remember the first interaction i had with him was when i yawning due to boredom, we had our first eye contact that time. lol. hmmm other outlet, new surrounding, new people... takes time for me to suit myself. so literally, everytime i yawn, he must be starring at me from far and laugh. my friend who happen to be a management trainee there said... he must be ur yawn-destiny. lmao. what kind of destiny. but his eyes is my most favorite so far (after food). but day after day, i dont know why and how it happen, i become so close to him. since during work his face is covered with mask... psst! let me tell u... he is the one in charge of making sushi. and he is fast... there got one time, where this foreigner customer said that he i...

this year... is another of me celebrating eid mubarak without my mom and my siblings (and dad). in 2012 i went to my dad's hometown, and this year i have to work. it's ok. i'm not sad. but yes i'm sad. i miss the moment where we took photos with our family, with our new traditional kurung. all very pretty very happy... so cheerful. i also miss the moment where we knelled in front of our parents and say... "i'm very sorry for everything"... eheu... GODDDD!!! i miss my home! but it's okay. anyhow... happy eid mubarak to all of u. i've got a story. i recently... started to have will to settle down early. idk what influenced me. it's either i keep getting invitation from friends or maybe this one person that make me feel like that. i mean. he isn't a boyfriend at all. not even close to best friend. just a friend i knew from chat's "shake". lol. no.. look! i mean... i have that "settle down early" feeling not because ...

18 December 2013 was my last post? like really?? sorry blog... and hello again.. now is july 2014. how are u guys doing? i highly doubt that people actually come here. sorry that during January i was busy with job hunting, and interviews. and finally on February i'm employed, as a assistant manager in restaurant, not a very exciting position, but good enough for graduates without experience... and yeahh... i love and hate my job. seriously other than telling u guys i've got job now... idk what to tell u guys. being an assistant manager is quite fun. i met many kind of people, deal with it... be patient... learn how to communicate. but overall... i am happy with my staffs and colleagues. i feel like ending this post now. huhuhu... i dont even bother to change the layout, i feel like i lost my creativity... this is the third day i'm on computer, thanks to me 6 days leave which started on 3rd July. other than that... i still remain single. lol. my friends are getting m...

guys i did not expect u guys to come here... cos this blog is practically died. i don't always post, when i always say i want to post. thanks btw. hugs for everyone of u that still come here, and read my post, and... leave me message. i know i'm such a bad blogger when i don't treat blog just like how it supposed to be treated. guys, i'm currently at peninsular malaysia, for an interview. apparently i have to wait for a week, and the interview process was way too casual. it's like he is suggesting me a work, he explain everything about the training period along with the salary, allowance... huhuhu... and oh, i never post telling u that i have graduated. it's not too long after my graduation tho, my graduation is on 23rd of November. it's a very short update, nothing interesting happen to me really. i live my life in a very normal way, no socializing. lol. just playing with kids... and yeah, i already miss my besties... why am i so far away from them. ;~;...

allow me to write something ridiculous happened in my dream last night. lol. my blog name is already a fool, now i'm writing something useless instead of something useful... make it looks like a blog owned by a fool. i'm already 20+ but none of my post is mature enough. but... looks like i don't care about it. lol. after all it's still my blog and it's still my dream. put it under read more so that i don't ruin people day by forcing them to read my dream, whenever they accidentally come to my blog. haha.

hey... did i just come back here after a month? and did i just come back here and change the layout again? yes again? oh gosh. guys i'm sorry for the total ignorance. it's not that i'm busy. well i was kinda busy for the first two weeks after my last post, doing my thesis. and guess what... u will no longer read anything related to my study now, like thesis or whatever, because... yeah because i completed my thesis , i pass my final exam , and my cpga is ok for me to finally graduate. yes.... GRADUATE . G R A D U A T E . oh my. my graduation is in November 2013. yippieee!!! after all the hard work. after all the procrastination. after all the endurance. i finally can rest. hahaha... but... it doesn't last long. when everyone start to ask u... " what are you doing now? " or " what is ur occupation? " or " where are u working? " or " are you married? " or " do you have a boyfriend? " why why why. just why they don...

Hey, today is the first day of Ramadhan, fasting month. Happy fasting guys!! But ugh, this is not the main point of me being here. I've been so distracted by my own dream. I hate the feeling i had right now, it was actually since yesterday.  Remember when i told u here that i dream about him apologizing? New visitor might not know. In case u curious here . Well if u don't just don't click it. I just wanted to say i have the same dream yesterday. It's my second time to have him in my dream, and he is apologizing. He mentioned me on twitter, said "I'm sorry" with :( emoticon. I'm like... why? What sorry? Why sorry? And why? It's not that i need him to say sorry. I just want him to talk to me back? Think about it back he never really ignore me. He even support my team project when i text him i need his help. Really he never actually ignore me. I took things way too serious back then. But why the dream? Why not a happy dream. Oh yes, i stil...

Hello? How are you my dear blog? And those people who still visit me and drop message. Sorry for the really late reply. It's really been a while. Nope, i'm not really busy to not come here, it is just, u know times when we feel like blogging, but have to avoid because trying to stop complaining... yeah, complaining in details? I also promised to doddle Myx name, but... i did, it's just... ok. i don't come here often. That's why it's not uploaded. I'm going to, later... Do u not curious about how am i doing? Ofcourse doing good. Final year project is not 100% done, but at least my viva voce is done, which means more that 50% is done. That viva voce was not really good, the examiner said my project is not relevant. I was devastated by the statement, according to him, i don't put much effort in this thesis writing. He raised his voice though when i asked him what is the meaning behind his comment, because i can't relate. I can't relate his comment...

bored? i guess yeah. this stuff is... O.L.D. yeah. old. and, lets be honest here, none of us really care about this show, we watch when we are bored. we watch when there is nothing to be watch, and nothing to be done. in my case NO, i've got lots of things that needed to be done, but........ nah! ok so i happen to watch it last night. in the past few hours. and... they are funny. that is not the point now. i am actually attracted to this one guy. wait.... why am i telling u? (sigh) i love u guys for reading my post. really. it's a total crap tho. imo, he is not that handsome, not that good looking... but cute. his name is Shane Mardjuki , in case u watch it too. I did not plan to be on internet today, but right after i finish watching HGWC, i said to myself that i must stalk this guy on internet. so yeah! i do! i found his twitter btw. not following. i hate to see my following list more that 200. now is close to 250. so a big no. lol. now... everybody, look to the left. ...

what a weird title. hello! it's been a while. though i always appear online, but to be here is not within my interest. to say i was busy with life, is a lie, because all i did was... attend classes, lunch, movies/dorama while lunch, running man every tuesday, sleep 1 hour before workout. 1 1/2 hours of zumba (my current workout), game on tablet while resting after workout, having milk at the same time, a lil bit of movie/dorama during night. and sleep. see? there is no room where i'm doing my thesis. submission is on 24 may 2013, which i hope will be extend. at the same time, i believe that i can deal with the data (i mean statistic, hell) and also discussion. i'm confident. lol. btw. changed my layout. i'm using ready made layout tho. too lazy to create one. this layout is cool too. why not give a try. still same color scheme. sorry. i'm not creative. and. i haven't complete the doodle i promised myx. sorry myx. not that i'm busy, but i'm having...

sleepy... and not feeling so well... i'm so gonna rant about what happen within 9/10 hours of journey on bus. i was so happy, because the seat beside me is empty. i'll be all alone, enjoy the two seats on my own. haha...(excuse my english, i'm so not pro to explain the situation, but i think it is enough for u to read/understand). however... i get so disappointed when the bus stopped at one of the sabah's districts, called, telupid. and a guy sit next to me... ugly sobbing in my heart because it was so uncomfortable. how to sleep, how to comfortably sit, singing, and jamming or even dance to my favorite song? the thing is... the thing that i don't understand is how... no! let me arrange my words properly. i think most of u know that i am actually having a real height problem, i mean i am short. so... to fall asleep on my shoulder is a little bit uncomfortable. unless u are a kid. also... it is rare... for a guy to fall asleep on girl's shoulder. but the thin...

i've been downloading lots of show... none other than k-show. keeping myself up to date with anything i love. since a new semester starts very soon. guys... it is my last semester. not announcing hiatus, because lame. school isn't the main reason to appear hiatus, for ignorant-last-minute bitch like me. i don't know. i am not someone who keep things arranged. i don't have planner or diary or what. ok i have S-Diary installed on my tablet. i'm keeping all activities on it, like reminder or whatever. though it is actually a menstrual cycle calendar. lols. see i'm trying to change my bad habit. don't laugh at me because it is a menstrual cycle calendar. i'm quite update to k-show guys, also movies (all kind of movies), american tv series (if u wonder, TWD ofcourse, i'm so not gonna rant on it, because this post gonna be so damn long). if any of u wonder where do i get all those shows, just hit me up. i'm gladly to tell u the resources. lol. sorr...

first of all... thanks for reading my previous post. it was so freaking long and pretty pointless tbh happy new year to all my readers, my followers to... guys interact with me please. are u blind? to not see my gorgeous post? i beg u. omg. sorry. exaggerating. i didn't mean it. i mean... i was just kidding. (slap my face with fish). this year, we (my family obviously) don't do reunion dinner, because lack of members. most of my cousins are not here. one of them are on his way to our hometown, arriving pretty soon because now is like 3.55am? so yeah... no chinese new year celebration. i don't know about tomorrow. so shut up. also.. talking about chinese new year, i swear i am the dumbest girl in this world. because been telling myself not to go to any of his profile. succeed to not visit his facebook, but failed miserably on his twitter and instagram but u know what, he make his account private, and i don't get it how feelings work but honestly it feels like i've...

that is actually my specialty guys, to whine on internet. i whine at every little things. when someone posted their photo on blogskin, i curse, by cursing i mean using fuck off, wtf, wth and etc, which in my very own opinion that is not what we call curse. curse is like... son of a bitch, motherfucker, damned whore and etc. i don't know more than that, not my specialty. but people still call that cursing. what ever. i don't give a fuck. recently i've posted my comment about simon's review on BAP's Rain Sound... a very long comment, because i do think he is so biased. but i respect his opinion tho, i just expressing my disagreement (which is also an opinion). i also screen cap one of the comment on sistar19's music video, because we have the same opinion and once again posted it on facebook. huhu... getting tired of sistar's sexy concept. i don't get starship tbh. i whine about PSY coming to Malaysia on chinese new year, which is a very big offensive ac...

i guess, i don't know what to write. i'm on my semester break guys, so nothing happen to me, except... expanding myself. i guess u know what it is i actually... been thinking of my new skin for 2 days, wanted to create a new skin since i have so much free time. no life. but... not really. i spend a lot of time on tumblr. also... downloading show. and sleep. wtf. my current skin is actually completed in 2 hours ago, i think? hahaha... because got idea. if not... ugh, i don't think u'll see a post from me today, so unmotivated. lol. and also... shared the previous skin of mine on blogskin, doesn't looks attractive tho, because so pale... click this if u wish to download or comment or rate. reason why i edit the whole looks, is because i insisted to not give the same color, the exact code and so. idky. i'm a bitch. the only reason is.. i don't want people to have the same skin as mine. lol then why share? u bitch pfft!   and the comparison.. the one wit...

in my very own opinion... i'm now a big girl... theoretically!! to be a practically big girl, i'll have to end this semester at least? or should i include next semester? i do think i should exclude because by doing next semester seriously... and hardworking-ly.. will help me become a big girl. what i mean by excluding it is that i should start my mission on next semester... oh... yes, i realize that i'm a bit late in this, but i just set my very first wish for 2013.. or is it second? because i once said or posted that... i hope 2013 will be better. i don't remember, memory loss because i'm getting older. let just not count that as a wish. it is lame... in fact sfm lame. /shrugs/ i'll not announce what is it about, because once i hit my keyboard to type that one freaking goddess word i'll get excited.. an excited atom ever in the world that it is so hard to return to its ground state. do i sounds like a chemist? lol... enough with that. i just hope tha...

i'm an introvert ... get to know me... by reading  10 myths about introverts  if you are that interested... who knows, u might be an introvert too guys... you can try to find out what are u here .. share it with me? the thing is.. i'm not weird as someone always claim that i'm a weirdo. but... you know... my life in 2013 is going pretty good. i just don't have the money to buy anything i want. and by buying anything i want is actually my happiness. pretty much like buy anything i want to eat. and my forever love ... i'm so damn in love with my desktop.. now guys... i need some sleep. been staying up all night to study finance... i'm tearing my eyes... but guys... am i the only one who recheck all replies i should do... and... actually go to that person blog, and track my own trace there to see whether or not i replied her already? i seems so forgetful... omg...