BE FREE

i will hit you guys soon... i'm so unmotivated to do blogwalking... not in the mood. sorry my dear readers  title wasn't supposed to be that terrible... and so uncreative (made this word). but... i just have to put it as a title, because i can't think anything better than that... or shorter than that. i am so not understand how and why would people on facebook read my statuses in a very wrong way. maybe my words are rude (but i don't think it is rude), like using bitches, fck, dumb, and what so ever... but that doesn't mean i'm trying to curse everyone on facebook. what the hell is going on with people. i'm not even talking about them, and they keep asking me... is that me? are u talking about me? like.... are u fucking kidding me? i don't... i fucking don't, because i don't fucking care about u, why would i waste my time talking about u? and when i said i stan a lot of dumbers, i actually called one of my fav kpop idols dumb on facebook. d...

in my very own opinion... i'm now a big girl... theoretically!! to be a practically big girl, i'll have to end this semester at least? or should i include next semester? i do think i should exclude because by doing next semester seriously... and hardworking-ly.. will help me become a big girl. what i mean by excluding it is that i should start my mission on next semester... oh... yes, i realize that i'm a bit late in this, but i just set my very first wish for 2013.. or is it second? because i once said or posted that... i hope 2013 will be better. i don't remember, memory loss because i'm getting older. let just not count that as a wish. it is lame... in fact sfm lame. /shrugs/ i'll not announce what is it about, because once i hit my keyboard to type that one freaking goddess word i'll get excited.. an excited atom ever in the world that it is so hard to return to its ground state. do i sounds like a chemist? lol... enough with that. i just hope tha...

i... actually haven't finish study yet. but... i have this one feeling that makes me feel i am so... not belong to my own life...  i feel like everything happens around me is... i actually don't give a damn fuck about people. i'm living in my own world. i don't care. the only reason why i think people still know me is because of my cousin. she keeps asking me to go here and there with her. thanks to her.  i don't know how to explain. but i hate my surroundings. even foods here make me sick. i have to think hard everyday just for one meal. yeah, i'm having a fucking meal per day. i lost my appetite. i don't know anymore. i'm so done. i don't gives my 100% attention to my exam. i sleeps, i don't study. i takes 10 minutes of study, more like copying notes onto a new paper. and then 30 minutes of search words game. 30 minutes of enjoying music videos, and so... i wasted time so much.  all i can think about is... how to earn money....

i am so not in a good mood. i wanna flip my table, which is impossible. i wanna flip everything i saw. i am literally a wild boar now... inside. outside i was like... " hey hey look at me.. i'm so damn happy now. " i guess that is why he called me complicated. heuuuwww.. (¬_¬)ﾉ i am so unproductive today... i know... i know! u don't have to mention it. i know the fact that i keep saying i am busy. but today i am not. i am not... because.. err... just because i am not.. take it as a reason won't u? huh...（▼へ▼メ） a brief activities of mine today: off from bed... bath... online... spazzing zhang yixing a.k.a lay from exo-m... the whole day. since 1 pm till 5 pm. i'm on tumblr also on youtube. bitch please. i don't care what u think. i'm on twitter. not to forget facebook... i shared lots of meme. sarcasm.. and no one understand me. that is why i'm on tumblr & youtube with yixing. lol... /retarded/ i didn't take my lunch btw. great? h...

this is so true like... they always told me to be honest, but when i do, they questioned my honesty for being too straight , too rude , too offensive and so many other too.. =_=' pfft! i don't get it people. seriously... i normally don't care about this thing, because i do judge people sometimes, when they pissed me off. yeah, i do... but i normally don't judge them so hardly like how they judge me for pointing out my opinion on facebook. my intention was sincerely to let my own friend realize about her own doing in a very different way, k fine here is my status, fully in english. me having less conversation with u, not indicate that i hate u, or i can't forgive u, or i can't forget what u've done to me, but... i really appreciate it if u realize what are u wearing, there is no point to have that kind of image, if u can't avoid things that are unnecessary n unpleasant to public eyes... we all need to know that as we change our appearance, the way w...

yesterday, i had a chat with one of my friend, a he... not so close, he was once be my leader in  program during my first year of university which is 2 years ago. haha...  and.. yeah, i was actually asking for his opinion, should i just hide my crush from my facebook or just remove him. but i guess he don't get my story, he keep telling me to not rush the feeling or what so ever. which i never rush. the truth is, my crush, he is not only ignoring me on facebook, but also he is so awkward to me on facebook chat... yeah on facebook. i text him (on last week's tuesday), i invite him to my project, my trial business. and he was like, kinda friendly? i think. at least he used more words. while on facebook, he reply me owhh ... ok ... yeah ... and smiley ? wtf. honestly... i was hurt... totally, and wondering at the same time. what i've done to u that make u think i do deserve this? so... i do think that, remove him from facebook is the best action i can do to stop talking t...

on 5th october, we celebrate our uncle birthday, i mean, the fake uncle of mine. my fake and ridiculous family here in university. but the place was so dark, no photo taken. but... me and my fake cousin made a card for him, the last minute card. so it was kinda messy and not even pretty. one thing, why does everything seems so awkward during us celebrating his birthday? idk why, it is not happening as always, awkward, so awkward. and the one that claim herself as my best friend, was sitting next to me... don't even talk to me. i was like... what is ur fucking problem missy? she is the one who love to create drama, if u ever followed my blog's story, u'll know. she claim that she is my best friend, she said she loves me. but... she doesn't act like one. ever since the first time i know her, i can't tell her any problem of mine, unlike towards my cousin and emily. i can tell them everything. but emily still clueless about my crush though. it doesn't matter. sh...

i'm about to go to sleep. but as i open my facebook, i stressed out to see his name appear on my sidebar. like seriously, why do his name have to appear on each pages that is recommended? this is the shit i have to deal with everyday... ugh... he is not even online, his last update was about 5 days ago? i'm not so sure, and i don't want to open his profile. lol. i will tomorrow. :D and and... i guess he hide me, and he is hiding all his posts from me. he is not even mine, why in the world do i need to concern about this. huhuhu... but then, i remember he once posted that he want TM (telecommunication company here) to provide wireless, so that they don't hope for neighbor's internet. i was like, oh maybe he really can't update anything, or he just don't have time to do that. ugh... but still... i swear i'll be super sad if he hide me. he better unfriend me if it is like that. ok. fine.. enough with the drama. i'll just go to sleep now. and he a...

hello guys... how are you? hope u guys doing fine, i'm doing fine today. just a lil bit annoyed by some juniors act. it was funny at the same time. wanna know the story? i'll just tell u, since that is the highlight for today's journey of me. hohohoho well, me & my friends, sis diba & ain went to postgraduate to purchase the guideline on writing dissertation, worthy... u can use it like forever. then, after purchased we went to the bus stop, of course waiting for the bus, we need bus to go to the library. around 10am, more and more people come to the bus stop, here in our university, we usually end morning lecture at 10am. as we waiting for the bus, this girl, which i don't know who is she, she is totally a stranger for us. so this girl suddenly look at me and say " errr.. excuse me... " i was like yeah what? but i didn't say it out loud, i was just looking at her. so she continue asking " are u 1st year student? or 2nd year... or... 3rd yea...