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Why Apologizing?

Hey, today is the first day of Ramadhan, fasting month. Happy fasting guys!! But ugh, this is not the main point of me being here.

I've been so distracted by my own dream. I hate the feeling i had right now, it was actually since yesterday. 

Remember when i told u here that i dream about him apologizing? New visitor might not know. In case u curious here. Well if u don't just don't click it. I just wanted to say i have the same dream yesterday. It's my second time to have him in my dream, and he is apologizing. He mentioned me on twitter, said "I'm sorry" with :( emoticon. I'm like... why? What sorry? Why sorry? And why? It's not that i need him to say sorry. I just want him to talk to me back? Think about it back he never really ignore me. He even support my team project when i text him i need his help. Really he never actually ignore me. I took things way too serious back then. But why the dream? Why not a happy dream.

Oh yes, i still like him. Never do this heart decide to change it's direction. I don't even know. I wish to like someone else, but that is beyond my power. There is no point trying to like someone else, so i'll just leave it. It is not that i'm sad to have this one sided likes or maybe love. It doesn't hurt, liking him is not something hurtful. I don't mind the one sided love, i'm a potato after all. 

I just don't like the feeling i had right now, the kind of feeling where u want to text someone because u are curious about him since he appeared in ur dream, consuming ur mind... But u don't have the gut to text him, because u afraid that he will ignore ur text. I need to stop myself from grabbing my phone and stare at his name like forever, type in message and delete it. Numerous time. Tbh, no one love that kind of feeling. Seriously. /sigh/ Anyway, dream will stay as dream.
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Comments

Claudia said…
good luck with the fasting! i really admire the hardwork and effort :) i honestly could not give up food, sometimes i try to fast, but...

i used to have this crush on this guy. i liked him for three years. i wanted to stop liking him, but my heart wouldn't let me either! eventually it faded though.

you could try texting 'hi' or something to him. or if he's in any of your classes maybe you could text him asking about class related things?

also, i didn't know you were back to blogging! i only saw this through twitter. your updates didn't show on my dashboard, but i missed you!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
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