on 5th october, we celebrate our uncle birthday, i mean, the fake uncle of mine. my fake and ridiculous family here in university. but the place was so dark, no photo taken. but... me and my fake cousin made a card for him, the last minute card. so it was kinda messy and not even pretty. one thing, why does everything seems so awkward during us celebrating his birthday? idk why, it is not happening as always, awkward, so awkward. and the one that claim herself as my best friend, was sitting next to me... don't even talk to me. i was like... what is ur fucking problem missy?
she is the one who love to create drama, if u ever followed my blog's story, u'll know. she claim that she is my best friend, she said she loves me. but... she doesn't act like one. ever since the first time i know her, i can't tell her any problem of mine, unlike towards my cousin and emily. i can tell them everything. but emily still clueless about my crush though. it doesn't matter. she did something that really make me feel like... are u really my friend? u made me do my internship in some place that i don't know, i never live there. promised u'll help me there, but then... u did nothing, when i need ur help, u wasn't there. u said u want to sleep early so u can't fetch me. i was ok with that in the very first place. but then, when u said "no wonder u didn't contact me, someone drive u here already." in an annoying or sarcasm tones. i was like, what is ur problem? who in the world don't want to fetch me in the very first place? giving me a lot of reason. and don't even asked me where am i even though it was already 11pm. u said u want to sleep early. but... what did u do? i was so mad. no sorry is ok, but when u said things like that. i was like... ok fine... what am i to u? am i ur friend? u said i was ur friend. i admit that i can't talk to her like usual because she hurt me already, and i need some time to cure my own feeling and to throw away that awkwardness.
she once asked me through text, i mean she text emily because she can't reach me, my phone was running out of battery. but.. i was like.. can't u just wait till i on my phone back? why need to involve emily in this matter? i pass that. so i just answer her question and told her that i need time for my own. then she said ok. but then... she posted something on her facebook status, of course it was related to me. like i was the one who betrayed her. everyone who read that ofcourse will know the one she talk about is ME. when i saw that status. i was like... DAMN! what is ur problem seriously? u want to act innocent? u want to put the blame on me? i was seriously hurt through this act of her. and to be real honest, i can't be friends with her like before. i can't... i seriously can't. not that i'm not forgiving her, but i push her away to protect my own feeling and my trust... but i still can talk to her like usual... and now the problem is... she won't talk to me, eventhough i tried. so... why should i care about talking to her when she chose to not talk to me? i don't give a damn fuck. she talk when we are in front of someone that she want to act all innocent. yeahhh... two faces bitch...
that is why i think she made me looks like i was the one who is in fault, i know that i'm not a good person, what i mean is, i'm not a religious people. she is wearing veil which is much more bigger than mine, u guys know how i dressed right? my veil is not as big as her. she is covering her body really well, but still her behaviour is lacking, still hurting people with her act. is that how u supposed to act? well i know u can't please all people, but why does it seems like no one is pleased with ur attitude? idk. and since i'm not a "good girl" as her, people will tend to blame me because i wasn't with her anymore. well, they don't know what happen, and they don't know who is she. i was afraid they judge me... i felt so insecure, i afraid that my friends, i mean my big family will hate me. i feel suffocate, no one know about her true color, only my cousin and my other friend, aedy. but i am glad that i still have my friends to be with me and understand how i feel.
and... i'm sorry that u lost my trust.
Comments
Myxilog