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Blind

this gonna be a very long post about my boyfie n my feeling. please excuse my broken english.

didn't i tell u that i'll meet my boyfie once i arrive here. last sunday, i just arrived KL to complete my practical semester/my intership. i'm staying at sepang for 6 months.

i arrived here at around 1am, going straight to my rent house. talk with my friends, and then sleep. 8am wake up, bath, breakfast.. taking bus to KL. and met my boyfie at malaysian association of blind (MAB). why there? my boyfie can't see, either me or this world. he is blind since he was 19 years old. but i knew him a lil bit earlier, when he can still see me... and this world. we are friends for over 1months, and then couple, up until now we are couple for over 3 years.

i haven't meet him for 2 years, i miss him so much. for all this time, i can only talk with him & text. and we had a lot of arguments, because i still can't figure out about his weakness, i wanted him to be the him when he can see, he got a lot of time for me. but now... it is different.

the last time i met him was during his 19, while i pass him my math tutorial, since i was so "good" in math. jk. he pass me some anime & songs through his thumbdrive.. and not long after that, he leave, because he is furthering his study @ sarawak. i was so trembling during that time, because i secretly having crush on him. without him knowing that i really like him, i am fully interested in him. he thought i just wanted to be friend with him, or i am just being kind with him.

after 1 month, we are still friend, till i tell him that i will never approach & being very kind or so helpful to a man/boy if i don't really like him. i think, through that, he knew my feeling. without me telling him what exactly i feel, he said, he really likes me, he even fall in love with me because i'm helping him with all kind of difficulties. in fact, i just lend him my tutorials & notes. because he can't really see, blur so he is slow in catching all things taught by lecturer. at d moment, i thought his problem wasn't serious.

when we were serious about our relationship he told me that, his vision is slowly deteriorate, because of some kind of problem with his nerve or something. idk. i'm not sure myself. he go through several operations, but it doesn't really help. and now, he is blind, only his left eye can see some colors/light, but still blur.

what i wanted to write here is, about how our date goes in d last sunday. i was so nervous, since i haven't meet him for 2 years, and he is now is not d old him, i mean, he can't see. idk how it feel to walk with him. do i have to hold him? or he hold me? how will people see us? and it turn to be really different. i hold his hand, i guide him, after lunch, i help him was his hand. though there is nothing happen to him, but i found that i am totally failed in taking care of him. i really am, because i can't guide him really well. idk but i wanted to cry, at d same time i was really happy to meet him, he is so positive. that is why i love him. though he can't see, he is still asking me if i am ok, everytime i accidentally crash on something & ouch-ing. i am happy with that.

since it is raining... we can only sit & having some talk... eventhough it was only 3 hours of date, i am totally satisfied & happy with d date though it wasn't so romantic like others. he even give me a sleeping bag for me to sleep with, because he know i only have comforter as my bed. i'm touched. thank God i had someone like him. but i doubt myself... i wonder how will i taking care of him once we r married... i really working hard to train my heart so that i am tough enough to be his ideal woman. i didn't want to hurt him once again.

Comments

Claudia said…
Stay strong! Just have faith in yourself :)

Glad you had a great time at your date! Wow, this is true love. Wish you two all the best <3
hann said…
Omg.. that was a nice lovestory, I'm so touched. B'coz inspite all of that, you still love him and is willing to take care of him, even thinking of having married to him. I can feel you. Just be strong and everything's gonna be alright. Be happy. :)
hann said…
aw! sorry to hear that, but why? :/ ok, u don't have to answer that I still think that this relationship you had with him is amazing. :)

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