I am Sleepy.

so emotional all of sudden. nothing that can make me happy. the wedding... i'm happy for my cousin, but i'm tired... at the same i got assignment that i need to complete before sunday.. which is yesterday. and i didn't do a thing. it's a group work, passing it on sunday just for the leader to compile the actual report. so... i don't contribute. in which i confirmed that they will talk about this. i told them i'll be busy as soon as i arrived at my hometown. it's my cousin wedding, and the whole family need to help him. it is quite impossible to help them. so.. i... i.. i don't know what to do. but... she doesn't help me though in previous assignment submission, letting me doing it alone... ALONE. at least she got a partner to do this. ok.. i am mad at her actually. but by not helping her in this assignment make me feel guilty, i didn't know how could they do the same thing to me without guilt. i just don't understand.

and last night... i dream about oyaji. lol. seriously fiffy. what is wrong with u actually. i mad at myself to let me  have that dream. duh... ==' but the thing is... that dream make me happy. the dream started in class. i'm in the same class with him, the same scene like how i met or know him. teacher asked about something, and he raised his hand & answered it. in english... (of course.. that is how i know him) and i stare at him, without him noticing me. he don't talk to me though i sit just right behind him (just like how it is in real life, he talks to my friends most of the time n i stayed silent)

the class takes so long. i don't know how long is that. and when the class end... he stare at me for a while because he need to take his back and put on his jacket.. he talked to me, but i seriously forgot about what. (i stressed out because of this too i think.. lol). then he leave. i let him be. i go out, i don't know where is my friend, i was alone. as i walk, i'm about to go home. i saw him, so i walk to him. and start talking. the place seems to be a field, i remembered i saw people plays football.

me: what are u doing?
oyaji: resting. and enjoying the view
me: /smiles n take a sit/. so how are u? it's been a long time. (i think i am referring to our current situation)
oyaji: i am fine. and doing just all right. /smiles/
me: i see..
(silence, i throw a look at the guys running on the field)
oyaji: i'm sorry...
(silence, i'm waiting for the reason of his sorry)
oyaji: i'm so sorry.... for not talking to u in a long time.
(i turn to him just to see his expression, but it surprised me when i saw his face right in front of me. i didn't know that he get close to me while talking, because i distance myself a bit from him)
me: why so close? (he adjust himself) it's ok i'm ok about that. i tried to understand u.
(silence, i throw my eyes to the sky)
me: i know that u had a girlfriend.
oyaji: i am not.
me: ermm.. i have a thought that, u liked a girl back then.
oyaji: i am not.
me: then i am totally wrong. i guess i am the problem then. annoyed u maybe.
oyaji: it's not like that.
me: haha.. just kidding. (i turn to him again) err... why? i mean.. what is with that stare?
oyaji: /smiles/ nothing.
(a girl come approach us)
girl: why are u talking to this girl? i hate u.
(and she run away)
me: who is she?
oyaji: a friend...
me: she seems jealous, go get her.
oyaji: why should i? she is just a friend.
me: i see. i have to leave.
(he stare at me)
me: i said i have to leave. why stare? i prefer u say "take care" or "good bye"?
(and he keep staring)
me: fine. i'm leaving. bye.
(but he grab my hand. it hurts, i mean my butt. haha! and i get extremely close to his face. which make me trembles)
oyaji: i found myself so into someone.
me: ........................ so?
oyaji: i found myself not normal for having this kind of interest towards him.
me: ................................. what?!?!??
oyaji: it is not that i don't like girls.
me: ................................... i thought u are not. by based on what u said just now.
oyaji: i wanted to be like him.
me: i think that is normal.. well i wanted to be like someone. and she is a girl. isn't that normal?
oyaji: the thing is...
me: what??!??! u liked him? u fall in love with him?
oyaji: no!!!!
me: u make it seems like a yes.
oyaji: i wanted to tell u, but this is not the right place. people may hear us.
me: i have to go back. u can just contact me.
oyaji: i like face to face more.
me: ughh... just come to my place then.
(he agreed and he follows me, weird thing is.. why is it my house at my hometown? i don't know why, after all it is just a dream, as we arrive home, he greets my family, and follow me to my room)
me: continue!
oyaji: it doesn't seems important now...
me: what the...? u make me drag u along to house, even into my messy room! and now...
oyaji: we can talk about other things though.
me: whatever. i want to put mask on my face now.
oyaji: i can help u /smiles/
(i go wash my face, and come back to my room, see him set the pillow, and even take out all masks i have in my drawer, i don't even know why he know where is my mask, ==')
me: i wanted to use d green one.
oyaji: ok. lay down here... (so i lay, and he about to put the mask on my face) are u comfortable now?
me: i'm just fine.
oyaji: wake up, let me fixed the pillow, it doesn't seems comfortable.
me: ok. why so kind?
oyaji: /smiles/ ok.. now get back here.
me: i asked u why so kind?
oyaji: /smiles/ how should i put this on ur face?
me: i thought i know how to. just put it on my face.
so he puts the mask on my face. 

and i wake up from my sleep, it's already noon... surprised that i kinda remember every bit of this dream. i even remember the conversation details. though the sentences doesn't really like how it is in the dream. but... idky am i so happy. to have him talk to me? to have him say sorry to me? or to have him put the mask on my face? or to see his face in my dream? idk. why should he stare at me for the whole time? i mean, i prefer him to talk. i miss his voice though. ==' huhu...

where is my weekend? omo... tomorrow fly back to my university. huhuhu... i haven't reply any most of ur message. sorry.