Girl Talks

why is it i make him as a bad example? i mean, my cousin, remember? my fake cousin... someone currently is approaching her. like... how he approach me. what i mean is my crush, yes... and the things that are differ from me is, she and the guy who approaching her is much more older, 28 i guess? while mine is 21. and... they start commenting on facebook, before they start chatting. me... we know from class, and lost contact about 1 semester, then suddenly become closer through facebook chatting.

my cousin, she tell me about how sweet is this guy to her, how care is he about her.... in my heart, i was like... "why are they so typical?" so i don't want her to hurt, like how i feel now, after we become so close, then suddenly he dumped me. oh.. so fun... (bitch face) and so... she tell me that this guy sometimes call her dear. without thinking i told here that:

he, my crush used to call me dear too. he used to care about me too. we used to talk almost every night. he inbox me, keep asking whether i'm ok or not if i don't reply his text. he make me believe that he likes me even a bit. he know that i like him ever since i first met him, so he told me not to fall for him... and yet... he allowed me to say i miss u, and he dare to say i miss u too to me. he stay up all night, till he get his migraine back just to listen to my problem. but... after all the thing happens between us, he dumped me. and it is not even fun. it hurts so much that i killed him thousands times in my head. my ex boyfriend too, why is he telling me to give up on him only after i met his mom? why is he telling me to give up when i am fully prepared to be with him forever if i could? i don't understand guy, and i don't know why is this happen at the same time. i rejected guys (not much like 2 to 3) just to be with him and he simply told me to give up. that is just fun. (bitch face again) and i sometimes wondering is it because of my attitude or what? am i not sincere enough to love someone? so in the end, i give up, i don't even dare to likes anyone, i guard myself up, not even respond to anyone that try to approach me. i don't think guys nowadays know how to appreciate girls, so... i better stop. i'll end up with someone, i believe in that, it is just not now. so... u better cool and slow down, don't jump into a conclusion that he likes u so fast. don't rush into a relationship. 

ok... of course i don't tell her in one go, i mean, our conversation was too long. so i conclude what i told her in a paragraph. lol. i know it is annoying. but... as i remember what i told her, i realize that i am slowly become anti-social. i mean, i already lost some friends. and now i'm guarding myself up to certain people especially guys. is it what we call trauma? i don't think so. i prefer to think it in a positive way, which is i become more matured in selecting whoever i want into my life. i've got the option.

so.. our conversation ended with, guys was so unfair. why? imagine if girls flirt with every guy, like they did (flirting with almost every girl they know) they will call that girl bitch or slut. if girls smoke, they call us bitch, but it is ok for them to smoke. if girls dress up, they said to whom we want to show it? they said "so u think u are pretty?" but when they do... girls can simply accept them. oh gosh... how unfair life is. this may be happen in the society where i'm living now. it is not applicable to all society. some maybe don't even care. ok. i need to end this here. 

on the other hand... xander said that she wanted to add me on facebook. so here is my facebook link. fiffy's facebook u can add me if u want. i mostly do posts in english, sometimes in my native-language. if u don't mind, just add me. xoxo... love ya!