i'm a here... at my campus.. for almost 1 week. and i just bought a broadband for me, connection here wasn't really good, but yeah, it is my fourth year, my final year... internet is telling me to not be on the line as frequent as before. as i stated before, i just bought a broadband for me, today... and that means, i wasn't able to be online for these few days because i don't have internet. that is why i am late in replying some of ur message on my cbox, sorry for that.. and most important is, my challenge.. i am failed. huhu... let me forget about this first.
since i started my campus life this week, i feel so excited, not because of the classes though, but because of my buddies that i haven't met for more than 6 months. i miss them so much. for the first day, my class was canceled. i am glad, to not have class on the first day of my campus life, my brain is still in its idle mode. i'm not ready yet. so, i waited for my friends at the school's foyer, because we'll hang out together after their class and after we submit our report and daily log book. what i really love about this hang out is, we all didn't plan to go out together. i was first planning to go out with my 2 friends only, but later... the numbers are getting larger. we walk to the mall, we go for lunch and movie. we watch the possession, it was a good movie imo i love the family value they have.
well... i don't really have exciting moment like seeing my crush or bump into my crush. he wasn't here, i mean, he wasn't living in the same college with me, he is not even in the same year and same school as me. so i might just give up on seeing him from far. but i wouldn't deny that i am still looking around, especially cafe, just in case he was there. and no one knew about his identity, what is he in my life, what we talked about, not even my best friend. the fact that i attracted to him (when i still had a boyfriend), the fact that i like him (after some time, u should read my previous post about him), the fact that i'm attached to him, i've been keeping it for more than a year; never tell anybody except this blog.. well i start to open up with my own blog after i confirm that i like him.
but i have this one friend of mine who knows about him, but never see him, and don't really know how much does this guy value to me. haha... i'm talking like we both had a relationship before, don't misunderstand me guys, we both never have any kind of relationship, he once said that i am his close friend. that is all.. when she ask me whether i'm ok or not (regarding my ex-boyfriend problem and this crush of mine).. i said... i'm fine, can't u see how happy am i now? i just don't care about it anymore, and i feel so damn happy now.
i'm not even lying... i start to learn to not care about my feeling towards him ever since he ignore me. idk the reason, maybe he is simply avoiding me. because he knew that i like him, and he doesn't approve the feeling that i had for him. but after all, who is he to tell me not to like him, and not to fall for him? who told him to be with me when i'm having conflict with my boyfriend? who told him to start the conversation? who told him to be so good accompanying me when i'm lonely? who told him to worry about me? u told me not to like u, not to fall for u, but ur actions, ur doings, it make me fall for u, and now i have to get up on my own...
i did forget about him already. but then, he ruined everything. and i never blame him at all. it is still my fault, because i was once posted on his wall that i miss him (i really was), he maybe thought that i miss him as a friend. well, tbh i don't really know why i miss him though. maybe he fill up my routine by talking to me, and he make me laugh even he is so far from me. i fall for him. and i always have this thought in my mind... i am not a good lover, attracted to someone when i still had a boyfriend, and falling for him when we just broke up.
so i guess, this is my punishment, oyaji existence, oyaji's ignorance is actually God's punishment for me. ok.. i don't know how is this related to my campus life. hahaha.. forgive me. it is true that i'm a silly girl. and i have something to share, about friendship actually, and i still thinking how to put it in a nice words so someone wouldn't hurt by my words. lol... it is funny how i can't be honest with my own blog, because if i do, someone will just start her drama... and i am the one who is wrong, because most guys see her as an angel, while me.. just some girls who don't really have that angel criteria with me. hahahaha... well, hot stuff is always cheap...
since i started my campus life this week, i feel so excited, not because of the classes though, but because of my buddies that i haven't met for more than 6 months. i miss them so much. for the first day, my class was canceled. i am glad, to not have class on the first day of my campus life, my brain is still in its idle mode. i'm not ready yet. so, i waited for my friends at the school's foyer, because we'll hang out together after their class and after we submit our report and daily log book. what i really love about this hang out is, we all didn't plan to go out together. i was first planning to go out with my 2 friends only, but later... the numbers are getting larger. we walk to the mall, we go for lunch and movie. we watch the possession, it was a good movie imo i love the family value they have.
well... i don't really have exciting moment like seeing my crush or bump into my crush. he wasn't here, i mean, he wasn't living in the same college with me, he is not even in the same year and same school as me. so i might just give up on seeing him from far. but i wouldn't deny that i am still looking around, especially cafe, just in case he was there. and no one knew about his identity, what is he in my life, what we talked about, not even my best friend. the fact that i attracted to him (when i still had a boyfriend), the fact that i like him (after some time, u should read my previous post about him), the fact that i'm attached to him, i've been keeping it for more than a year; never tell anybody except this blog.. well i start to open up with my own blog after i confirm that i like him.
but i have this one friend of mine who knows about him, but never see him, and don't really know how much does this guy value to me. haha... i'm talking like we both had a relationship before, don't misunderstand me guys, we both never have any kind of relationship, he once said that i am his close friend. that is all.. when she ask me whether i'm ok or not (regarding my ex-boyfriend problem and this crush of mine).. i said... i'm fine, can't u see how happy am i now? i just don't care about it anymore, and i feel so damn happy now.
i'm not even lying... i start to learn to not care about my feeling towards him ever since he ignore me. idk the reason, maybe he is simply avoiding me. because he knew that i like him, and he doesn't approve the feeling that i had for him. but after all, who is he to tell me not to like him, and not to fall for him? who told him to be with me when i'm having conflict with my boyfriend? who told him to start the conversation? who told him to be so good accompanying me when i'm lonely? who told him to worry about me? u told me not to like u, not to fall for u, but ur actions, ur doings, it make me fall for u, and now i have to get up on my own...
i did forget about him already. but then, he ruined everything. and i never blame him at all. it is still my fault, because i was once posted on his wall that i miss him (i really was), he maybe thought that i miss him as a friend. well, tbh i don't really know why i miss him though. maybe he fill up my routine by talking to me, and he make me laugh even he is so far from me. i fall for him. and i always have this thought in my mind... i am not a good lover, attracted to someone when i still had a boyfriend, and falling for him when we just broke up.
so i guess, this is my punishment, oyaji existence, oyaji's ignorance is actually God's punishment for me. ok.. i don't know how is this related to my campus life. hahaha.. forgive me. it is true that i'm a silly girl. and i have something to share, about friendship actually, and i still thinking how to put it in a nice words so someone wouldn't hurt by my words. lol... it is funny how i can't be honest with my own blog, because if i do, someone will just start her drama... and i am the one who is wrong, because most guys see her as an angel, while me.. just some girls who don't really have that angel criteria with me. hahahaha... well, hot stuff is always cheap...
Comments