i broke up with my boyfriend. but not in an inappropriate way, no fight, no quarreling... we solve things peacefully.. ugh no.. i cried. and the next day i woke up, i got puffy eyes... i mean swollen. huhuhu... i just pray that no one notice that.
i was so sad. like seriously, that was the first time we had an open talk. we knew that we love each other, and we knew that we both must reduce the hopes of stay together until the end of our life, since i am the one who is lacking in many things. i knew that i should improve myself... idk. idk what should i do... i am so hopeless. i love him, but i demand a lot of things from him, without reconsidering his feeling. i knew i hurt him a lot... i think the both of us being a friend is the best option, i don't want to hurt his feeling anymore. i told him that i may need time to prepare myself with things that may come in future when we are married. i may need my own time, with no attention from him to think all of these matter. he said that i understand my feeling, plus he told me to remember this "in this world, we will never get 2 things that we want the most, if we want A, we must sacrifice and forget about B, and vice versa. if u want to stay with me, then u must accept all the possibilities happen, i knew that i can't take care of u when u r sick, and if we're married, i knew that i can't send u to the hospital for u to give birth to my child. i knew that i can't say you're beautiful even u put a lot of effort to appear beautiful in front of me, i knew that i can't watch movie with u, i can't lead our date. i am sad for not being able to make u happy, that is why i told u hundred of times that some guys out there can make u happy, and i told u to consider about them, not to put ur fully attention to me. i told u that, even my mom said the same thing. and i don't these things ruin our marriage if we are married in the future. that's why i told u to think about this, consider and reconsider."
hearing him saying that make me feel bad, am i that selfish? it is all my fault... and idk what should i do. we both decided to stay as friend... Allah please give me strength. i do want to be a happy-go-lucky girl again, because someone just said that i am not cheerful as before, i am not silly as the first time he saw me at klia. God is punishing me now...
guys i know that i am a bad and selfish girl. but i do hope u guys won't blame and judge me. oh u guys should, i deserve all that.
i was so sad. like seriously, that was the first time we had an open talk. we knew that we love each other, and we knew that we both must reduce the hopes of stay together until the end of our life, since i am the one who is lacking in many things. i knew that i should improve myself... idk. idk what should i do... i am so hopeless. i love him, but i demand a lot of things from him, without reconsidering his feeling. i knew i hurt him a lot... i think the both of us being a friend is the best option, i don't want to hurt his feeling anymore. i told him that i may need time to prepare myself with things that may come in future when we are married. i may need my own time, with no attention from him to think all of these matter. he said that i understand my feeling, plus he told me to remember this "in this world, we will never get 2 things that we want the most, if we want A, we must sacrifice and forget about B, and vice versa. if u want to stay with me, then u must accept all the possibilities happen, i knew that i can't take care of u when u r sick, and if we're married, i knew that i can't send u to the hospital for u to give birth to my child. i knew that i can't say you're beautiful even u put a lot of effort to appear beautiful in front of me, i knew that i can't watch movie with u, i can't lead our date. i am sad for not being able to make u happy, that is why i told u hundred of times that some guys out there can make u happy, and i told u to consider about them, not to put ur fully attention to me. i told u that, even my mom said the same thing. and i don't these things ruin our marriage if we are married in the future. that's why i told u to think about this, consider and reconsider."
hearing him saying that make me feel bad, am i that selfish? it is all my fault... and idk what should i do. we both decided to stay as friend... Allah please give me strength. i do want to be a happy-go-lucky girl again, because someone just said that i am not cheerful as before, i am not silly as the first time he saw me at klia. God is punishing me now...
guys i know that i am a bad and selfish girl. but i do hope u guys won't blame and judge me. oh u guys should, i deserve all that.
Comments
I wish both of you will be fine.